Inferno #2

Inf 2 cvr

Release Date:  June 10, 2015
really...just ew.
really…just ew.

For those who want, you can first check out my review of the first Inferno issue here.  But be warned…I’m not nice to it.

In the interest of full disclosure, though, I’m not nice to this issue either.  Everything that was bad in the first issue seems to be enhanced in the second issue, making it worse somehow.  The last time I read a book that was this bad was Spider-Man and the X-Men.  Seriously.

I actually recommend that if you want your X-Men fix, go check out this cool Japanese version of the introduction to the 90’s cartoon.

But if you really want to continue, it’s on your head.

Colossus

SYNOPSIS

Okay, so remember how N’Astirh impaled Boom-Boom last issue?  Well, she’s not dead yet (Monty Python, anyone?) but she is lying on the ground, choking on her own blood.  A small, impish demon, with some major dental issues, is kneeling over her, chatting away.  Apparently his master needs fresh meet so he drags her into a tunnel under the streets and takes her to what looks like an operating room somewhere in the sewers (I’m guessing Mister Sinister’s, but we’ll have to wait to know because this is the last we see of Boom-Boom this issue).

Elsewhere, the Goblin Queen dangles her prize, Colossus, over the goblin hordes under her command.  She decides to just drop Colossus into the middle of the horde and watch the ensuing chaos.  (she IS evil, after all!)  Colossus puts up a good fight, but one of the demons controls other demons and, well, Colossus’ arm is demonic (thanks to Illyana in the first issue).  So this little demon tosses Colossus into the mouth of an extremely large demon who then spits out Colossus (hey, YOU try eating a giant chunk of metal!).  Even as Colossus begins to lose his battle, we hear that the Goblin Queen is planning on using him in her battle against Magik – apparently there’s a feud going on.  The Goblin Queen then drops the soul sword (Illyana’s Soul Sword) into the fray.  Colossus is able to use it and easily kills the giant demon.  The remaining demons, rather than face down this fearsome foe, drop their weapons and surrender.

Elsewhere, in a demon prison, Domino paces until she is greeted by a diminutive figure.  Let’s see if you can guess who this person is.  Half, metal, scar over his right eye, big guns, and more pockets than you can count.  Yep.  it’s….young Cable?  They bond over the gun that he’s carrying until he lets Domino out of the prison but does point out that she has to be sure she doesn’t tell his mom.  Yeah…this is Nathan Christopher Summers, the son of the Goblin Queen and Cyclops.

At the demonic Empire States Building, Magik/Darkchilde continues her interrogation of Nightcrawler, but she’s not getting anywhere.  So she tries a different avenue.  If she can’t attack his body, she’ll attack his soul.  Suddenly, whatever she’s doing works as his body erupts into some sort of demon.

Back at the Goblin Queen’s headquarters, she and Colossus discuss her plans for him over a glass of wine.  The Queen’s plan is to use Colossus to wield the Soul Sword to kill the Darkchilde which may or may not leave Illyana left alive.  Their discussion is interrupted however, as a grenade tumbles in and rolls to their feet.  It explodes, but Colossus’ armor saves him just as the Queen’s shield saves her.

Domino rushes in, guns blazing, but she’s stopped by Cable (who is upset because he thought Domino was a friend).  Colossus then attacks Cable with the sword and the fight is over as quickly as it began.  The Queen then explains to Domino that she formed an alliance with Colossus.  She will get him inside the throneroom and Colossus will defeat Darkchilde.

Sometime later, Colossus leads the attack on Darkchilde’s tower, driving back her demon hordes.  Of course, Darkchilde is ready for them.  She has a pet Nightcrawler-dragon.

Cable

REVIEWS/THOUGHTS/SNIDE COMMENTS

Okay…  so I have read some bad comics in my lifetime, but this one may take the cake.  I don’t want to say it’s the worst issue I’ve ever read, but this ranks up there with the likes of Spider-man and the X-Men.  Yes, it’s that bad.

PROS:

  • Nightcrawler-Dragon.  Okay, so it’s hard for me to find anything to like about this issue.  Last issue I mentioned that at least it was Inferno and there was some nostalgia.  This issue doesn’t have any of that, but it does have a Nightcrawler-Dragon.  And that is pretty cool.

CONS:

  • The art.  The art itself isn’t horrible, but some of the facial expressions are just comical.
  • The atmosphere.  The classic Inferno was a very dark tale and just felt like the X-Men were fighting not only against classic demons, but against the demons within themselves.  The art and dialogue all contributed to creating a dark atmosphere.  This issue, however, does just the opposite.  There’s really nothing to show that this is truly set in the Inferno world.
  • Cable.  Okay…seriously, this is my biggest problem with the issue.  First of all, the only reason hell on earth would have happened was because the Goblin Queen was going to sacrifice her own child.  Second, the only reason Cable became half-metal was because he was infected with the transmode virus by Apocalypse and was taken into the future (because otherwise he would have died).  None of this would have happened had Inferno continued as it did in this reality.  On top of that, he is comical again.  Seriously, what is wrong with the writer?  Did he never bother to read the original Inferno story?

I cringed while reading this issue.  At least my expectations weren’t high after the last one.  Still, I had hopes for this series, but I don’t really see it getting any better.  Still, I’m hoping that maybe we can see a reunion between Cable and Cyclops.  But I’m not holding my breath.

However, as a lifetime X-Men reader, am I being too hard on this series?  I’ve seen some positive reviews, but they mostly seem to be people who didn’t read the original Inferno story.  I wonder if that’s the major difference.  If any readers want to chime in, I’m curious.  What’d you think of this issue?  Did you read the original Inferno?

so cool....
so cool….

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