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Whew…still behind on these.  Wanted this out 2 days ago.

So I moved a little over a month ago…  And I’ve been trying to juggle unpacking, work, parenting two kids, a social life (or what passes for one), and writing reviews of both these older X-issues and current comics.  One major task I have is sorting through my comics.  see…I have over 5,000 comic books.  Most of them are X-Men related, some Spider-Man and Transformers, that were in my main comic boxes that I kept relatively handy.  But I also had a shit-ton (that’s an actual unit of weight…look it up) of comics that were in boxes that were stored in my unfinished half of the basement.  Many of these weren’t even in my database that I used, most need new bags, some need new boards, and all need incorporated into my main boxes.  These are titles like Buffy, Spider-Man, Fantastic four, and all of my old Image comics like Spawn, WildC.A.T.s, and Cyberforce.  And holy crap is that a big job.  But it’s also fun seeing these titles that I haven’t read in years…or even seen the covers of in years (like my entire run of Deathblow).

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 Cable #34 (August 1996)

Loose Cannons
[Onslaught, Phase 1]

cover

Writer:  Jeph Loeb
Penciler:  Ian Churchill
Inker:  Scott Hanna

Cable gets to his feet…but it’s a struggle.  His T-O virus is starting to get out of control and he’s pretty weak after getting the snot kicked out of him by Post.  As he stumbles to his bike, we learn that he figured out that Xavier was behind it all (we already knew that…but it’s not Cable’s fault…he’s been laid up).  He gets to his bike and takes off the windshield (I’m not sure what else to call this…it’s the dashboard I guess too).  How awesome is this…the windshield doubles as a gun (that’s SO 90’s).  Suddenly, the Hulk, in all his green glory, drops in.  He claims to be there to help, but when Cable tries to probe his mind, the Hulk’s true intentions are revealed.  He grabs the windshield, and punts Cable like a football.

Hulk vs Cable
seriously…what is with that motorcycle dashboard?

Cable gets to his feet as the Hulk is once again attacking.  Cable uses his telepathy and TK to keep the Hulk at bay and crashes the Hulk into the street.  When the dust settles, the Hulk rises to his feet and is this time colored grey (I think the name is now “Joe fixit” but I’m not a Hulk reader so it’s hard to say).  The Hulk beats Cable mercilessly, even smashing him with a bus, until Storm shows up, zapping Hulk with lightning and pounding him with hurricane-force winds.  With the Hulk down for the moment, she turns her attention to Cable who is not breathing.  She administers CPR and even attempts to shock him back to life.

Storm
that is one epic looking Storm

Cable finally stands just as the Hulk attacks once more.  With their powers combined, they knock Hulk down for the count.

At least that’s what they think.  Hulk rises to his feet, but he is no longer the intelligent grey Hulk…but the mindless green one, the one fueled by rage.  And with a single swing of his fists, he downs both Cable and Storm

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I’ve never really cared for the Hulk, but Ian Churchill sure draws him beautifully.

Beyond that, this is a typical cross-over issue.  Very little in the way of development and only serves to give Cable some action and bring the Hulk into a crossover where he would otherwise not belong (he’s not Avengers and has nothing to do with any mutants).  But let’s face it…Hulk was one of the heroes who would be rebooted in the Heroes Reborn line and so it’s an editorial mandate that he be brought in.  I can just imagine everybody sitting around and Jeph Loeb raising his hand and saying “Hulk?  Sweet!  I’ll take him!”

The action is pretty awesome though.  Some epic beat downs and an all around fun time, even if it does reek of 90’s weapons, etc. (the dashboard of the bike is a gun/shield?  come on!)  Hulk (who is actually an intellectual now) even pokes fun of his old self by first saying “Hulk Smash” to Cable.  It’s kind of a nice throwback and Hulk even says so.

Hulk vs Cable vs Storm

Hulk switching forms, from the intellectual behemoth, to the grey scheming Joe Fixit, to the mindless Hulk is a fun twist.  Not sure how well that fits into the Hulk’s own magazine, or if it makes any sense, but coming from a guy who has read only a handful of Hulk issues in his lifetime, it was fun.

Don’t expect much out of this one…just a fun romp.  And poor Cable…gets smashed by a bus!

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